One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury".
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm".
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast".
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills".
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land". And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord".
2 Samuel 18:14 - Then said Joab, I may not tarry thus with thee. And he took three Darts in his hand, and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while he was yet alive in the midst of the oak.
Dodge Darts are also the only car whose mass production is attested to in Biblical times, a tribute to the car's solid design and simple, robust construction. They were even a matter of priority in time of war!
2 Chronicles 32:5 - Also he strengthened himself, and built up all the wall that was broken, and raised it up to the towers, and another wall without, and repaired Millo in the city of David, and made Darts and shields in abundance.
Those who carried out or contemplated violence were unable to drive the fine A-bodied vehicles of the Dodge Division:
Job 41:26 - The sword of him that layeth at him cannot hold: the spear, the Dart, nor the habergeon.
As they were throughout the modern world, the Darts of ancient times were great successes, very common through ancient Israel, and their speed, solid construction and sheet metal made a Dart's driver safe from danger:
Job 41:29 - Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear.
The owner of a delicatessen might well dread the thought of a carelessly-driven A-body crashing through his wall. So great is the strength of the car that it might well penetrate even through the display case in the back of the store:
Proverbs 7:23 - Till a Dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.
Above all, preservation of the cherished Mopars was a matter of concern, even in the New Testament. A good Christian was enjoined to at once move to extinguish such A-bodies as were set on fire by vandals or other malefactors:
Ephesians 6:16 - Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery Darts of the wicked.
And, if no other means availed, a rampaging beast in a mountain community could, at need, perish under the avenging body of the Dodge Division's finest and most enduring creation:
Hebrews 12:20 - For they could not endure that which was commanded, And if so much as a beast touch the mountain, it shall be stoned, or thrust through with a Dart.
Let us rest easy, then, and know that we happy few who still own and cherish our beloved Dodge Darts are in God's word, God's mind, and, we diligently pray, His good graces. The cars are great, too.