Haynes® Manual Usage Instructions
Please read and follow carefully



Materials required:


1. Remove the cellophane wrapper from your Haynes® manual and discard wrapper in accord with prevailing environmental regulations. As with all plastics, cellophane must not be disposed of in fire.

2. Open manual so that inside front cover is visible. Apply rubber cement or white glue to inside front cover and facing page.

3. Turn page and apply pressure so that inside front cover adheres to first page. Apply rubber cement or white glue to facing pages; adhere. Repeat for every set of two facing pages, including inside back cover. It may be helpful occasionally to close the manual and stand upon it to ensure a good and durable bond between pages.

4. Apply rubber cement or white glue to edges of manual (excluding spine); permit to dry.

5. Using ink marker, write one or more of the following words in block letters on the front cover, the rear cover, the spine and all three remaining edges: DANGER PELIGRO GEVAAR GEFAHR PERICOLO PERIGO . Select the words from this list that reflect the languages you use, starting with the language you use most frequently.

6. Place prepared manual on work surface. Pour prepared coffee into mug. Place mug atop prepared manual to prevent coffee stains from marring work surface. In this manner, coffee may even be spilled without long-term detection.

6a. IF YOU DO NOT DRINK COFFEE: Disregard step 6. Instead, place prepared manual in gap between trailing edge of workspace door and door frame. In this manner, door may be held open even in the presence of wind, closing-assist springs, etc.

6b. IF YOU DO NOT DRINK COFFEE OR HAVE A DOOR: Disregard steps 6 and 6a. Instead, place prepared manual in a suitable firepit or fireplace. Ensure adequate ventillation, and set fire to prepared manual, prodding as necessary to assure complete combustion. (CAUTION: Burning manual is hot and emits noxious fumes.)

Thank you for purchasing a Haynes® manual. We hope it serves you well in its function as a suitable coffee coaster, a useful doorstop, or at least 6 minutes of heat.

CAUTION!
Do Not Under Any Circumstances Attempt To Repair Any Vehicle, Regardless of Make, Model or Year, Using your Haynes® Manual! Severe Personal Injury, Property Damage and/or Funds Depletion Can Result!
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